|Lena Dunham, under that skirt.|
I have never hidden or denied that I love TV way too much for my own good.
Plus, this blog, from its inception, has faithfully reviewed award shows as though I were getting paid for it (if only) so why then did I not present a review for Monday night’s Emmys on Tuesday morning???
I’ll tell you why---nothing all that much happened on the Emmys this year.
In addition, I was still in recovery from the previous evening's MTV Video Awards and, to be honest, I assumed no one would notice.
But I am both happy and somewhat annoyed to report that several of you have inquired as to where my Emmy review might be.
Thanks for asking. I think. But where are my notes?
|There is a roll of toilet paper under|
|My notes...right before I send them|
to the Smithsonian.
But, yesterday I'd spent hours tidying up my desk which included corralling no less than 11 assorted lip balms into a zip-loc as well as chucking my Emmy notes right into the garbage.
Luckily they were scrawled in Sharpie and I can still make them out. I am going to transcribe them almost exactly as written since the hour is very late and, according to some of you, so is my review. Ready?
|Zoey and Allison.|
- I am very proud of Seth Meyers.....liked him as anchor of SNL's Weekend Update...happy to see his career going well.
- Clear, horn-rimmed glasses are definitely trending right now. Good call, Fred Armisen, you weirdo.
- Hmmmm. Not so sure how well Seth Meyers actually is doing but I am still proud...kind of.
- Tony Hale (Arrested Development, Veep) is totally under-appreciated. Why?
- I hate Lena Dunham.
- Am I the last to know that Hayden Panetierre is pregnant?? And who is responsible?
- When did Matt LeBlanc go gray?
- Uzo Aduba aka Crazy Eyes from "Orange is the New Black" looks great as herself.....not crazy at all.
- Jimmy Kimmel was so much better than Seth Meyers. Uh-oh.
- The camera just caught Lena Dunham saying “wow” (like an idiot) for the second time. Get over it, Dunham.
- Matthew McConaughey is just so darn pretty....a little off but definitely pretty. Is it the marijuana?
- Julia Louis Dreyfus simply does not age....gorgeous.
- Allison Williams (in a quirky dress) and Zooey Deschanel (in simple and elegant) appear to be wearing each other’s clothes.
- Lena Dunham looks hideous as a blonde. Plus, I really hate her.
- Steven Colbert has two distinctly different ears*
- I love Laverne Cox.
- Who does that bitch Lena Dunham think she is?
- Oh, no. Even Jay Leno was funnier than Seth Meyers.
- The Amazing race wins again for best reality show??? How did the nominating committee forget about the single greatest reality show in the history of the medium---“Hardcore Pawn?”
- Who, in the name of Helena Rubinstein, did Lena Dunham’s make-up? I hate her.
- How good can Jim Parson really be to win the Emmy so many times?**
- Why is Lena Dunham dressed exactly like a toilet paper cover that someone's grandma crocheted in 1962?
- Damn, Louis CK looks great in a tux....who knew?
- Who exactly is Cary Joji Fukunaga and why am I strangely attracted to him?***
- Why does Brian Cranston have a porn-stache......I hope it’s for a role.
- Gwen Stefani is almost unrecognizable (More plastic surgery, Miss Hollaback, really?) and is a bit dumb, no?
- Why doesn't Jon Hamm marry his girlfriend of 15 years? Because he's Jon Hamm, that's why.
- Christina Hendricks is starting to weird me out......
- If I ever run into Lena Dunham on the street, I’m going to punch her smug little face right off.
- Why is Matthew McConaughey wearing so much self-tanner....is his wife too busy designing over-priced handbags for QVC to tell him to knock it off?
- Amy Poehler wasn’t all that funny tonight without her accomplice, Tina Fey, now was she? Ha.
- Could it be that I am jealous of Lena Dunham?****
- Damn. Seth Meyers was awful.
See. I told you....there were no wardrobe malfunctions, pretentious political statements or awful gaffes. Kathy Bates wore pants with a caftan. Ricky Gervais was under control. The status was very quo at the 2014 Emmys.
I hope something crazy happens at the Golden Globes next spring.
|....something like this.|
* I actually googled Steven Colbert's asymmetrical ears. He is deaf in one as a result of a punctured ear drum. That, according to further research, however, should not have caused their lack of symmetry.
*** I realize my attraction to Cary Joji Fukunaga is purely narcissistic---his braids reminds me of myself when I was in second grade.
***** Yes. Extremely.
|Cary Joji Fukunaga wearing his hair like I did when I was eight.|
He is also the creator of "True Detective" on HBO.