Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Barbarian

Careful, young lady.

I really don't have to write much more than this today: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Done.

Honestly, is anyone that surprised?

Over the years, media coverage of his behavior has included footage of lots of public (during interviews) groping.

We knew there had to be a whole lot more behind the scenes.

Whether Maria knew, suspected, wondered or feared that Arnold was being a filthy dog with his staff, is not my business but, rather, should be relegated to the private dynamics of a marriage. And, all decisions and ultimate outcomes should be left to the various cheating thresh holds of those involved.

Look at Hilary. She has stayed married to Bill through Gennifer Flowers to Monica Lewinsky....and all those in between on his busy time line of lack of self-control.

I'm not even going to bring up the Kennedy legacy of sexual misconduct because I don't think Maria deserves to be painted with that brush. Her parents marriage never got outed as a sham (which doesn't mean much--no one knows what goes on behind closed doors) and I don't think the comparison is relevant.

Arnold's not a Kennedy. He's a giant asshole who married one.

And, who really knows whether the housekeeper "enticed" Arnold as the media has reported. Maybe she did and, therefore, shame on her. Big time.

Yes, I am a bastard.

But, for all we know, he forced himself upon her and she never actually knew who the father was (she was married at the time) until the baby--the real victim in all this madness--popped out looking (again, as reported) like the Governator himself.

And, maybe she never reported his advances or left the job because she needed the work. She had other kids to support.

In other words, there are many scenarios that could have led to this mess.

I am also disturbed (besides thinking that Arnold is a filthy swine who should, regardless of the actual circumstances, have his penis super-glued to his thigh) at the next door neighbor of the housekeeper and her son.

This woman has allowed reporters onto her property where they have filmed over the fence, all the while gossiping with them about how the real estate agent suspected "someone" was helping the woman buy the home. She must think that it's okay because she keeps emphasizing what a great kid the boy is.

Shut up, lady.

Out of respect for your neighbor, don't even open the door to the feral press that cares about nothing but a new sound bite or a snippet of film. Unless a neighbor is a bastard extraordinaire, there is a code --or so I thought -- between us because, on some level, sharing a fence makes neighbors like family.

All in all, the whole thing is creepy and sad. For Maria Shriver and her children, it is a huge betrayal. For the newly-acknowledged son, it's the beginning of media hounding and a skewed life.

Who knows how it will affect Arnold?

Women on the street, asked by reporters what they think, are all coming down on him heavily while some men are shrugging and smirking, adhering to the call of the wild---the DNA that whispers in their ears constantly to spread their seed, expanding their tribal geography and their own genetic footprint.

Quick, pass me a vomit bag.

He's done with a political career and Hollywood tolerates a lot.

The whole thing makes me want to take a long, hot shower in the private bathroom of a sanitarium where there is no TV, magazines or newspapers......just cats and bowls of M&Ms.

Both peanut and regular. Thank you.

Arnold: I bet I'll be back.