Thursday, September 20, 2012

Sleepless Nights and Deaf Cats

Actual unretouched photograph of "Susan Says..." last night
Yet again, I could not fall asleep last night.

But this time I decided to do what many old fashioned Americans use as a tried and true method of sleep induction. Nope, not warm milk. Not a marathon of just about anything on the Discovery channel or even a Nyquil Smoothie....I went right for some alcohol. Mike's Hard Lemonade, to be exact.

There were a few, leftover from a party (yes, don't look so surprised. "Susan Says..." throws parties. If you're interested in getting on the guest list, simply fill out the application below and mail in a check for $100....just kidding! I don't charge that much for my parties) in the fridge in the garage.

We have other stuff but it's still locked up in the closet downstairs. We put a padlock on that when the boys reached their teen years. Unfortunately, the only people that lock kept out were me and Seth. We lost the keys and still can't get in.

Hard Lemonade did not do the trick. All it did was cause me to want to put make-up on the cats and hyper analyze the lyrics to some Fleetwood Mac songs.

For example, what exactly does he mean by "When times go bad, when times go rough, won't you lay me down in tall grass and let me do my stuff." What exactly is his "stuff" and why must it be in tall grass. And, why would anyone in their right mind make  him "Secondhand News"???
Lindsey Buckingham. Considered very cute by 1970's standards.
All that aside, we have another situation that affects not only my sleep but Seth's as well. This includes weekend naps, dozing off in front of the TV and drunken stupors, as well.

My 18 year old cat Fritzi, has gone deaf. The old girl hears nothing. I can vacuum, sing, rant at the TV, threaten the computer or cackle like a hyena and she does not so much as flick an ear in my direction.

She no longer comes trotting in to the kitchen when I use the can opener and doesn't show up in the bathroom in order to get a little drinkie from the faucet. I have given up putting her favorite You-tube videos on for her which makes me sad because, often, we would watch them together.

I've told you all before how lonely "Susan Says..." can get now that the ingrates boys are grown up.

And, yes,You-tube. For the cat.

There are dozens of videos if you do a search for "cat entertainment" and Fritzi and I used to love a nice long one of birds hopping around a feeder. Now, however, she has a new habit.

Almost on the hour, every hour, day and night, Fritzi stands up from her little napping cushion, stretches creakily, faces the back of the chair and bellows at it several times in an unearthly deep and terrible voice that not only wakes us but also the dead in cemeteries as far away as Montreal.

No matter how used to this we are becoming, its scares the daylights out of us every time. It is that loud. And that terrible.
It is this loud.

Still cheerful and accepting of hugs and a good brushing, she's not in pain. A friend suggested that it's some sort of self-soothing behavior since she can no longer hear the outside world. But who knew a tiny little girl cat, in her very advanced years, could achieve such volume??

So, even if the Mike's Hard Lemonade had worked as I hoped, I would have been awakened several times by Fritzi
 Maybe tonight, if I can't sleep, I will howl with her. After enjoying the above video a few times.
* I actually love the Discovery Channel.


  1. My Leo does the same thing at night around the same time. Maybe it's some sort of primal scream that cats all over the world do at the same time.

  2. My old Mooch would stand on my pillow and shout - much the same as your Fritzi is doing. Senility is a sad thing. Mooch would settle after a big cuddle session, only to repeat the performance a couple of hours later. I imagine being wakened by a new baby has a similar effect on you after a while - the lack of sleep fog a parent wanders around in...

  3. My RX for sleep: 3 Benadryl.

    Anything less I'm up all night.

    Feel free to call me anytime you can't sleep, chances are I'm up too.

  4. When I’m overly excited about something silly and can’t sleep, a glass of red wine usually does the trick! Mike’s has too much sugar, that’s where you went wrong! :)

  5. I like that idea, Michelle! Maybe Leo and Fritzi are communicating!

  6. At least Mooch would cuddle, Janet. Fritzi accepts our veneration but won't allow cuddling.

  7. Holy moly, Michele. Three benadryl would out me into a coma for days. Not kidding. I am very impressed.

  8. Stajie, you are 100% correct about the sugar. I came to that conclusion too late!XO