Monday, November 5, 2012

Vote For Me!

During the past several months I'm sure you’ve all been reminded, in one format or another, to not forget to get out and vote. There are billboards to prompt us, t-shirts, bumper stickers and buttons to encourage us. 

Many of us even look forward to an election worker pressing an adhesive sticker to our fleece lapel after we cast our ballot that says, "I voted!" 

After all, the privilege to elect our governing officials is the hallmark of democracy, is it not?

An informed voter.
I, too, have encouraged others to go and cast their ballots....but only, however, if I’ve made absolutely certain they agree with me. Why would I remind you to vote if you're voting against my candidate of choice. What am I, crazy?

 If I find you’ll be supporting another, I might suggest that you sleep late, try that in-home chemical peel you ordered from QVC or begin the herbal cleanse you bought last month. Surely other voters will take care of it for you…relax.

But, in any case, by the time you’re reading this, the election will soon be over.  
My favorite campaign of all time.

While it’s Iikely that armies of lawyers will be pouting and stamping their little feet in some of the so-called battleground states, the actual campaigning -- and by that I mean robo-calls, mud slinging and blatant lying -- is behind us. And, of course, unless the election was truly too close to call, some of us are happy and the rest of us are not.
"Do as I say, bitches!"

Susan Says..." did not endorse a candidate this year but not because she had no opinion. 

In fact, "Susan Says..." has an opinion on everything and will be happy to share all of them with you next time we meet in the produce aisle, but I also wish I had run for president. In fact, I’ve wanted to be president of this great nation since I was just a tiny little megalomaniac, ruling her Barbies with an iron hand, back in Brooklyn, New York.

Why are they so stingy with the purples?
Like any candidate, I would have made certain promises (for ex. free Hershey's Kisses for all, a higher percentage of purple Skittles in the fun size bags, a TV channel that runs nothing but Cash Cab 24 hours a day and, of course, the permanent exile of the entire Kardashian clan...including Bruce Jenner), but I like to think I would be a fair and loving leader of the free world.

My sons, both of whom heard me shriek "What makes you think this is a democracy??? WELL, IT’S NOT!!!!" countless times during their childhood, might disagree but how hard can it be? 

Sharing, listening, kindness, honesty, open-mindedness, consensus-taking, frugality and surrounding yourself with people who are well-versed in the things you aren't is pretty much it, no?

Hmmmm. Now that I look back on that deceptively simple list, I realize it must not be all that easy. If it were, why else hasn't a president in recent memory been able to combine all those characteristics to be the great leader we’ve needed?

A full beard, really?
Not to mention, a candidate must be telegenic, as well. Ever since Richard Nixon grew a full beard and sweated through it during his 1960 debate with John Kennedy, it is common knowledge that a candidate must, to some degree, look the part. The charisma factor also counts but is less easy to define. 

Unsuccessfully trying to kill him with her eyes.

Bill Clinton’s personal charisma, according to everyone but Hillary, is legendary. And yet, to bring up Richard Nixon once more, it’s possible to win with neither looks nor charisma.

It really shouldn’t be such a mystery. Our next president, whoever he is, must be willing to persevere, make sacrifices, compromise, think clearly, project strength, help shape a bright future and lead us toward it.  

Whoever you turn out to be, Mr. President, I’m sure I’m not the only one who wishes you the very best. Now about those Hershey Kisses……….