Take Note!

Ann Margret took notes with a pen.

It’s been some time since my last anti-technology rant so I feel I’m overdue.

In addition, I just read an article in the Wall Street Journal that prompted a lengthy diatribe which, fortunately or unfortunately, was heard only by the cats (who barely glanced up from their ipads). 

Written by a millennial (millennials are an amalgam of two factions -- Generations X and Y – who, with their artisanal mustard and microbrews, are very similar but X-ers can vaguely recall a world less electronically connected while the younger Y-kids are too young to remember anything a time when you actually had to use your brain to think)…it was about the taking of notes in a classroom setting

Forget notes. No one is learning because they're all on Facebook.

It appears millennials of both variety have discovered they comprehend and retain more information when taking notes the “old-fashioned way.” By this, I mean the use of those clunky and pre-historic tools remembered by some as pen and paper. Ha. No, I really mean that—HA! Maybe mom and dad, with our supermarket condiments and cans of Bud from the gas station cooler, might not be such imbeciles after all.

You are so right, Ned!

Unfortunately, the article goes on to explain that new “tablets” have been designed that are almost as thin and “flexible” as—guess what?! --PAPER!!! HA again! And, with these conceptually amazing and ground-breaking devices, you can purchase an electronic implement suspiciously similar to a “pen” for a mere hundred bucks or so. Personally, I prefer my pens from the dollar store.

Tom, my older son (very tech-savvy, yet the more likely of my boys to run off and live in a hollow tree), read the article at my behest only to inform me that these so called “pens” retain your written notes as would a computer. After shouting and windmilling my arms for a bit about how this is nothing but evil sorcery, he placed me in a headlock until I accepted this madness as fact. 

Upon release, and when my breathing finally returned to normal, I countered with the personal knowledge that it is possible to “save” hand-written notes in something known as a file folder which, barring an explosion in your basement artisanal pickle lab, will outlast anything with a computer chip, withstand power surges and be referenced by later generations just as I utilize my great aunt’s recipes from carefully stored index cards written neatly in ink over a half-century ago. 

Tell that to your stupid little electronic pen that you accidentally dropped in the toilet.

This leads directly to another article in the (non-web version) of the same newspaper about how millennials are also starting to install land lines in their homes because -- wait for it -- they are more reliable. 

They blame poor connections, annoyance with the need to constantly monitor re-charging needs, dropped calls and the frustration of locating a dead phone. Again-Ha!! Seth and I have kept our trusty landline for those same reasons. And, while I fully acknowledge the many advantages (Pinterest on the go!) of owning a cell-phone, my land line is an old friend. 

I even make sure there’s a corded version in the house: easily found in an emergency, less likely to give me brain cancer and often needed to call Seth’s number to locate the smart phone that’s slipped between the couch cushions.

Who didn't have one of these in their kitchens?

The "Slimline." What a
concept! 

I’m not advocating one of those no-frills wall phones we all had that came in several colors with a dial and a long, tangled cord or the pretty pink princess phone I coveted as a teen (never got one) or even the comparatively new-fangled “slim-line” from the 70’s that blew our minds by having the dial in the handset. 

Get something modern and sleek with all the fancy features you want! As a side bonus, you can slam the receiver down in fury at anyone who’s pissed you off or wants to clean your chimney. Angrily jabbing at a screen is a poor substitute for a good slam.

Is, as I’ve heard it said, everything old, new again? Nah….and, in many instances, that’s a good thing. Even we fossils acknowledge that technology has made life easier, safer and opened doors for medicine, science and the vital transmission of information. But try picking up a pen and giving your handwriting a new lease on life. Make that call on a land line for a clear and uninterrupted chat and then discuss, over a frosty mug of barley wine and lentil chips, how some old things are worth keeping around. 

And, kids-you might even want to try one of those fancy erasable pens for your note-taking…now that’s technology

My preference for a landline.