Leap Day: Facts and Celebration Suggestions

Today is February 29th.

Occurring only every four years, this extra day is added to February to even out the year so that the planet doesn't start tilting, causing everyone to slide off into space where we would all float aimlessly for eternity....or, nearly as long as last night's American Idol.

A lesser known but equally important fact about Leap Day is that it is also known as Groundhog Revenge Day. Wouldn't you -- if, still enjoying the cozy slumber of winter hibernation, were ripped from your covers and held aloft by a madman in a top hat -- desire to exact some payback for this indignity? Of course you would...as if seeing one's shadow has anything to do with a prolonged winter or premature spring anyway.

I am going to get
you, sucka!

Sadie Hawkins, as
drawn by Al Capp

As far back as Fifth Century Ireland, funny business regarding women wearing pants on Leap Day has been going on and, thanks to Al Capp--an irreverent cartoonist known for the comic strip "Lil Abner," the homeliest spinster in the town of Dog Patch was entitled to propose to the bachelor of her choice--giving February 29th its alternate identity of "Sadie Hawkins Day."

There is also the issue of the Leap Year birthday.

The 29th of February is a very popular day for scheduled C-sections* due to the fact that children born on that day magically age at a much slower rate than those with non-Leap birthdays.

If you are born on Leap day, after eight cycles of a 365 day calendar, you are legitimately only two years old. Referred to as "adult babies" you may be profiled on an occasional episode of HBO's "Real Sex" during which the rest of us will want to poke out our eyeballs with knitting needles.

I wish I were
kidding.

It is also suggested that on Leap Day one does something exciting and madcap since the day is, in essence, a "gift" of an extra 24 hours.

Some people like to take chances on Leap Day, believing they will experience luck...so play the lottery, eat that piece of fish that got shoved all the way to the back and has been in the fridge for over a month, park next to that windowless van outside Sears Customer Pick-up at the mall and, if you are a true daredevil, go for a stroll on any Ivy League campus in America wearing a Rick Perry t-shirt.



Some lesser known facts are that, on this day, farts have no smell, gossip is morally right and chocolate and cheese have no calories (and actually help achieve weight loss if consumed standing up) so go forth and enjoy your Leap Day! Maybe even propose marriage to the cute guy you see on the subway every morning....but stay away from groundhogs. They're mad as hell and mean business.

This woman is only 23 years old.

*Amazingly enough, absolutely true.