My Annual Snarky Review of the Grammy Awards

Adele, the big
winner

The Grammys have been one of my favorite award shows since I was a kid.

I count on them for outrageous behavior, crazy fashion and at least one slightly disturbing reunion of aging rock stars there to receive some sort of lifetime achievement hoo-ha.

Last night's show, significantly toned down as a result of Whitney Houston's death the previous day, wasn't nearly as insane, or entertaining, as last year's ceremony.

I thought LL Cool J did an excellent job as host, managing to keep the show respectfully aware of the loss of Miss Houston as well as maintain a festive atmosphere.

There was great music--Adele returned with a fabulous performance of "Rolling in the Deep" after vocal chord surgery and Bruce Springsteen showed that he is still "The Boss" although I miss Clarence Clemons and still long to see -- but am afraid to know -- what is under Steven Van Zandt's bandana.

Jennifer Hudson knocked my sock's off with her tribute to Whitney-- a moving and beautiful rendition of "I Will Always Love You", managing to prove Simon "You're Just Not Good Enough, Jennifer" Cowell wrong for the thousandth time.

There was also the ageless showman and recently knighted Paul McCartney, re-energized by another new wife (did he or did he not sign a pre-nup this time?) performing the new "My Valentine" as well as closing the show with some Beatle's favorites.

Yes, I am having the
tip of my nose whittled
down to nothing.

Chris Brown provided the zumba instruction portion of the evening, there were several dead Beach Boys propped up on stage for a 50th aniversary performance while canned music played behind them and Katy Perry, with a bad blue perm, traded in sweet/sexy for space alien/S&M.

Reason to smile:better hair
than anyone on earth.

Bruno Mars didn't disappoint, both with his snappy choreography or the height of that amazing pompadour, Nicki Minaj proved more boring than controversial with an interminably dull on-stage exorcism and Fergie debuted a brand new nose-alteration a la LaToya Jackson while Bonnie Raitt and Reba McIntyre were botoxed to the point where they could barely open their mouths.

Taylor Swift moved one step closer to obscurity (I hope) and the Foo Fighters* proved yet again that mediocre rock and roll, when unchallenged in its category, will win awards.

Best new artist went to Bon Iver. I just spent some serious time on Youtube listening to them. I liked some of their stuff but suggest the lead singer remove the vise from his balls before he does permanent damage.

I also think that Diana Ross should have been given her award during the show instead of having it mentioned when she was introduced as a presenter. After all, did she not lay the groundwork, some 40 years ago for Whitney and so many others?

 

All in all, the Grammys were understandably quieter and more somber than in years past. The biggest shock of the night took place in my own home when Seth commented that he liked Lady Gaga's face net and scepter.

This has put a whole new spin on Valentine's Day tomorrow. I'm glad I saved the grocery net from the trunk of my old car--I will be trying it on for size in just a bit.

Now, take a moment to enjoy Jennifer Hudson's beautiful performance from last night....

*I know I'm going to take some hate for my  Foo Fighters comment but not only do I stand by it but deep in your hearts, you know I'm right.