I can barely post today due to something on Regis And Kelly which I rarely watch but, since the bedroom clicker got lost, I was stuck on one channel while getting ready. 

The story was about an Australian man who has collected--I can barely type this--and kept 26 years worth of--give me strength--belly button lint. I had to type that in smaller letters lest I faint or keel over. Why would anyone collect such a thing? 

Before I had a chance to run screaming from the room, they showed it.  On camera. By this time, I was staggering to the phone to call for assistance but was able to revive myself once I was out of earshot of the television. Quite obviously, I am not comfortable with belly button lint (or spiders or the New York Yankees). I will now boycott the entire country of Australia (continent, or merely country...will someone finally clear this up!!!) as punishment.

Good thing, since I will probably never get there in the first place. It's way too long a flight. Plus, once on the plane, I would be focusing on my memory of the lint---three colors, three jars--and, as a result, my xanax wouldn't work and I would be a wreck. Plus, once I arrived, some boxing kangaroos might try to punch me...so, all in all, Australia is now off limits.