Wednesday, August 10, 2011

There Are No Boobs Mentioned At All in Today's Post (It's Just Another One About My Kids, Cats and Politics)

I attempted to lure Charlie into a political discussion last night.

As we all are aware, the economy is in a very unfortunate state and I longed to gain some insight from either one of my politically astute opposed to my husband.

Seth enjoys nothing more than ranting chatting about the state of the nation but discussing politics with him is virtually impossible for the normal human.

He reads several newspapers a day and is not only too well-informed to make much sense to a mere mortal but becomes so psycho concerned during "political discussions" that I can focus only on his spiking blood pressure rather than comprehend the gist of his opinions.

I would have been equally happy to address my concerns with my older son but we'd already chatted the other night so a discussion yesterday was out of the question.

Tom metes out his mommy-talking time like Scrooge dispensed coins to Bob Cratchit prior to his dream-induced epiphany.

According to the calculations upon the tear-stained spread sheet entitled "When Tom will Talk to Me," it will be approximately 11 days, 16 hours and 49 minutes before Tom picks up when I call. Damn you, caller ID.
I predict you will go to the bathroom today.

So, Charlie was it. And he HATES discussing politics.  Strangely, it did not seem to help that I mentioned Nostradamus in my opening statement, either. Hard to believe, I know.* 

He shut me down pretty fast, threatening -- that if I did not change the subject -- he would, and I quote,"find another mother."

Well, I certainly didn't want that to happen. I've put a lot of time into those bastards.

I have suspected that both boys have been interviewing for replacement mommys for a while ("Charlie, all she does is cry eat blog...she simply refuses to do my laundry and Fed Ex it over on a bi-weekly basis like she used to!" What ever shall we do?" "I have a great idea, Tom! Lets's replace her!") so I did as he asked, changing the subject immediately.

Hmmm...let's see. What is the default topic in my home? Thinking fast...ah, yes--kitty cats!

So, I quickly launched into a story about how Fritzi tricked the trusting Buzzy out of his box so she could get in it and, for some reason, Charlie was impressed that I was able to switch gears with a full-blown "cat story" so rapidly.

Really, Charlie?

I have five of them. Five puking, eating, fighting, scheming crap machines who constitute a veritable kitty community and provide enough action to write about every day if this blog were entitled "Susan Says...Cats."

In fact, there are certain people with whom I discuss only cats. What they do, how they behave, how pretty, funny, smart they are. And it's so relaxing....after all, they're not idiot congressmen or presidential candidates or vice presidents with hair plugs.

They're just cats.

So I calmed Charlie down with a few stories about kitty cats. I hope he enjoyed it. I know I did.

Okay, gotta will be 11 days,16 hours and 14 minutes now until Tom answers the phone but I need to tinker with the calculations on that spread sheet since months with 31 days tend to screw things up.

*Nostradamus, in one of his lesser predictions, foresaw he would be included in this blog.


  1. Have you ever seen the youtube videos about Maru the cat? I think you will enjoy them:

  2. Also, this is Traci Bradley btw ;) sorry my login is vague. This post made me laugh so much I thought I might wake up Violet!

  3. We should really get Seth and Evelyn together. She can watch political pundits on TV 6 hrs. a day.

    For the most part, politics make my head hurt. I do pay attention to things; but I don't eat, sleep and breathe it like she does.

  4. Traci, how wonderful to see you here! And, while I am glad little Violet didn't wake up, I am so glad to hear I gave you a laugh!

    I'm going to check out Maru later today--thanks! XXOO

  5. Seth talks about it ALL day, Michele. Every day. Seven days a week. Help, me. Someone...?

  6. Seth and Rick would get on just fine - neither would understand the other (foreign politics??), but they would end up smiling smugly at each other!
    Tom - don't be a stinker - talk to your mother!

  7. Hey, Tom, listen to Janet!!!And I love that Rick and Seth would end up "miling smugly..."