My sons don't want me to use AOL anymore.Like Baltic Avenue on the Monopoly Board, they believe it is not a desirable address.
While it doesn't indicate rats in the cellar, it does indicate that one's techo-skills are in the basement. And, according to the boys, lack of motivation to move up the ladder to Gmail or Hotmail (or Snotmail or G-Spotmail or whatever the heck is out there), makes a person, somehow, less.
They feel I should be embarrassed when I give my email address to someone and it ends in @aol.com.
But I am not embarrassed to be a "retro-techie." Since AOL, like its competitors, is free, I don't understand what the issue is. Is it a big deal that I've had the same email address since 1996?
Comfortable like a pair of worn bedroom slippers, with AOL I am able to navigate the web at a comfortable pace. And yes, I like the format and the color scheme.
It's not all beer and skittles with AOL, however. What I don't like about it is that -- if you have it -- you live in fear.
AOL "news" and the tabloid headlines on their welcome page, inescapable when you sign on, ensnare you like a fly in a spider web.
AOL focuses on a steady stream of missing person cases, mothers brutally killed by their offspring (recently a man offed his mom because she offered him a sandwich when he wasn't in the mood....I sent that one to Tom), husbands who dismember wives in order to facilitate running away with their transsexual lovers (Seth got that one, just in case), seven years olds who drive cars (Charlie) and animals who eat their owners (Buzzy).
There's also a spate of stories about people flinging kittens off bridges, "innocent" symptoms that -- unchecked -- will kill us, yetis invading suburbia, birds taking over small towns, six-legged lambs, two headed frogs, Alec Baldwin running for office and really, really scary pictures of Rihanna.
|Why do you think my|
hair is always so neat?
Just today I learned that Tim Gunn hasn't had sex in 29 years, how an aftershave has been developed to disguise the fact that your husband has been spending time in a strip club (that one got shot off to Seth, too), a climber is planning to scale Kilimanjaro barefoot (why???) and that someone flicked Mitt Romney's ear from behind and he went ballistic (okay, I made that one up).
All in all, this has made me a nervous wreck (watching for kitten flingers on bridges alone is stressful enough). If I ever decide to leave AOL behind, now you'll know the reason why....
|"Did you flick my ear, you &$#^%**%$!???"|