Friday, December 2, 2011

Victoria's Secret Follow-up

Am I actually on this bus?
Okay, so I didn't really get on a bus yesterday.

I did in my mind, though. And I went all the way down to Disney World to see Mickey and we stopped at every IHOP on the way no matter how far off the highway it took us.

But I really should have left because Seth was pretty mad when, after he double-sprayed himself with his ancient bottle of Brut cologne, there were no beautiful, shining women wearing wings and underwear on the TV screen. 

I showed him yesterday's blog and he was somewhat placated because he loves seeing his name in Times New Roman* plus one of the helpful comments reminded him that he can easily find plenty of porn on the internet.

This pleased him only in theory. He will not be seeking porn on the internet, Tom and Charlie.

Your dad is into trains, ships, engines, machinery, world history and politics and that's all--leaving little to no time for porn. All the man wanted was an hour of gorgeousness wearing feathers and pearls, smiling at him and him alone from the runway of the damn Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

To make matters worse, I asked him to scratch my back last night which I knew was a mistake but I was desperate.

He's a brilliant guy...he can fix stuff and understands the financial crisis, fluctuating mortgage rates, why the airlines are filing for bankruptcy and can always find the clicker when it goes missing but he simply cannot (or, will not...?????) follow directions when scratching my back.

He interprets left as right, up as down and here as there and I, inevitably, begin to scream and then he screams back and before you know it, the cats are trying to distract us by coughing up hairballs on the bathmat.

Seth is here today, working from home. Walking back and forth and shouting into his phone, he is the picture of crankiness so I am going to make myself scarce.

I wish you all a fantastic weekend and thank you all for your comments and readership this week. See you on Monday!

* This blog's font is really Arial  but Times New Roman sounds so much better.
My wife forget to record the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, too.
Wah, wah, wah.


  1. Rick shouts into his phone too! I have tried to tell him that it is NOT a tin can on the end of a string (do you remember those?), but he never listens to meeee.
    Have a great weekend and hopefully the Victoria's Secret thing will be on repeat soon :-)

  2. Men CAN follow simple directional functions, we just opt NOT to. Just remember ladies, NOTHING we do is by ACCIDENT ;)

    Don't think I'm not keeping an eye out on your shenanigans Mama szoldini !!!


  3. That made me laugh, Janet...Seth talks on he phonbe exactly as if it were a tin can on a string. Too funny.

    And we are getting aide from all over the planer as to how he can access the girls!

  4. BRIAN!!!!!!! So now you speak up! To defend your kind, eh? That's okay, I'm just so happy to hear from you. I MISS YOU!!!!! Have you pulverized anyone lately?
    Come visit me! XXOO

  5. A nice follow-up indeed. Will there be a part 3?

  6. fear not! he can watch it online!

  7. Why is it that we cannot simply extend our clawless fingers and you move your back to where our hands are? No, that doesn't work for my wife either, but I can't ask that question at my house. :)


  8. Elalona to the rescue!I have no doubt that this will be the first order of business tomorrow...he may want to send you flowers as a thank you!

  9. But, why is it that you people simply don't get "a little to the left, up, up, left...ahhhhhh."

    Answer me that, Scott.

  10. I'm glad to have learned what happened after. Glad you're still in one piece. I would have locked my wife in the bathroom for a week.

  11. Frank, thanks for the comment but I am worried about your wife.

  12. HAHAHA love this! I also like seeing my name in Times New Roman (...and Arial) :)

  13. I'm finally able to comment! This is so exciting! And here's a solution to your back scratching dilemma... or you can always ask Buzzy for assistance. :)