Thursday, March 3, 2011

Spring Break, Tito and the First Amendment -or- Three Cheers for Justice Alito!

Charlie arrived home yesterday for spring break. He brought along Tito the Cat who adores Buzzy but is much younger, has no concept of self-restraint and wants to play all day. So, while Buzzy's life has taken a temporary turn for the worse, mine has taken one for the better.

Here is just a small sampling of the benefits:

-The handful of Alleve I take every morning kicks in faster

-Telemarketers are less annoying and even seem kind of cute

-The daily email I receive from the helpful people at the Crohn's Disease Foundation and won't stop coming no matter how many times I click "unsuscribe," is less infuriating

-The female contestants on this season's American Idol seem less like singing hookers

-The Kardashians appear to be a wholesome, fun-loving family

-I am more likely to be polite at a four-way stop

-Charlie Sheen suddenly seems very sensible and well-adjusted

-I no longer seem to care how Johnny Depp dresses

But, despite my benevolent gaze and elevated sense of mercy, the deranged Westboro protestors are as unspeakably appalling as ever and make me want to suspend free speech long enough to throw them all into a windowless cell where they can spew their insanity only at each other while reruns of MTV's "Skins" are shown on a high def TV over and over and over.

I salute Supreme Court Justice Sam Alito, the court's most conservative judge, who argued that our national commitment to free speech and debate does not "convey the right to brutalize private individuals."

Charlie just asked me why I let myself get so worked up over the rantings of a small deranged cult. I told him, that as a parent, I cannot bear the thought of grieving parents having to endure that filth at their child's funeral, adding that I couldn't imagine that our founding fathers had something like this in mind.

As an idealist as well as journalist, my son believes that this is, indeed, what they had in mind and sought to defend when writing the first amendment.

I asked him if it would then defend me when I choose to hurl human turds at them if our paths ever cross and he said no, that this was something entirely unrelated.

Human turd hurling doesn't seem to merit legal protection (and trust me, I've looked into this) which, on so many levels, is a damn shame.

Other than all this, I'm baby's home.
Oh, no!  Do I hear Tito?


  1. Thanks, Katie and Maria. Enjoying Charlie but feeling very mad at Westboro....a contradictory situation, no?

  2. I googled Westbro, because I hadn't heard of them. Now I wish I hadn't. I like animals better than most people and people like that are the reason why.

  3. I hear you, Janet. They are vile. I feel sorry fpr the kids who are born into that group--taught such hatred and vilified by everyone--what a life to have to live.

    People volunteer to hold up sheets at funerals to block them so the mourners son't have to see them....they hear them, though. Horrific.

  4. I can't stand those...people. It feels wrong even calling them that. "People" is too good for them.

    I understand why the Supreme Court ruled the way they did, but I agree with you that our founding fathers would have never let it's Citizens, the families of fallen soldiers for Pete's sake, be treated this way. It's hateful and despicable.

    If I were ever to be at a funeral and see this group, I fear that my actions would get me arrested. No wait, I don't "fear" that.. ;)

    I hadn't heard about people holding up sheets...I want to volunteer for that!!

  5. LOL Buzzy's face is priceless. Poor Tito must suffer rejection. Life is pain. hahaha

  6. Hey Mrs.Szold,
    Tom posts your blog on his facebook on a daily basis, and notes the especially worthy ones. Hence my visit, anyway It's been a long time but i'm sure you remember the farkas. I ssop by this page here and there and charlies as well. Glad to see your all doing well tell everyone I said hi! And thanks for this entry it made me laugh and I definitely needed that!


  7. Mike! You made me day! I am going to send you a message on FB since I have no idea if you'll check back here....sohappy to hear from you!

  8. Yes, Cat--I will hold up sheets if they ever come this way. Someone recently slashed the tires of their van at a protest site. No garage would fix them.

  9. You're right, Anna--it's a microcosm of life. Poignant.