The Top 25 Reasons I Need a Snack (in no particular order)

1.Because I am intensely bored and food will entertain me. Duh. 

2. Because it's 4:32 in the afternoon.

3. Because there are cookies in this world. There are.

4. Because other people are having a snack right now. I can sense it.

5. Because thirty years ago, the coffee cart that came to my office was out of date-nut bread for an entire week and I never got over it.

6. Because this is a goddam free country

7. Because I can hear a woodpecker outside.

8. Because I am conflicted about Steve Carrell's choice to leave "The Office" for a movie career.

9.Because men are stupid.

10. Because my kids don't live at home anymore and I have nothing to live for.

11. Because snacks are God's way of saying he loves us.

12. Because I am not quite fat enough.

13. Because my cat is telling me to.

14. Because it would make me stop sniffing my Sharpie.

15. Because my recent haircut makes me look like a 53 year old baby.

17. Because there was a little thunder about an hour ago and it scared me.

18.Because I am worried that the Mets are going to really suck the moose this year.

19.Because I am relatively certain that Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" is about me.

20. Because snacks are innocent, innocent things in a troubled world.

21. Because a snack will fill the gaping hole in my soul.

22. Because a rooster ran in front of my car last week.

23. Because I think a good piece of cheese can actually change one's life.

24. Because I found one last microwavable corn dog in the freezer.

25. Because life is just too complicated.

Right before he sprinted in front of my car . Who is he?