Friday, February 25, 2011

Beer Pong in the Oval Office

I read that President Obama, Vice President Biden and a select group of Democratic governors are scheduled to convene today in the White house to discuss ways to stimulate the economy and encourage job growth.

Yeah, right.

The article went on to pointedly emphasize that it was a "democrats only" event. Come on, guys, we all know what that means.

Beer Pong.

It's been a tough couple of weeks. The middle east, and with it our oil and security interests, is toppling like dominoes in a corn flakes commercial. State pensions are under siege. Somali pirates are killing Americans. The government may have to temporarily shut down and Hilary, that stubborn bitch, still refuses to cut her hair.

If the president runs off to Camp David for the weekend, even if he brings a big briefcase stuffed with what appear to be important papers (but are really copies of Mad magazine and xeroxed word searches) he will be lambasted by the media.

Michele is constantly yapping about her "guns," and buying belts, Sasha won't stop leaping in front of the camera and waving whenever there's a camera crew within ten feet and Bill O'Reilly keeps calling and hanging up........the man needs a break.
Michele: Good nutrition and belts! That is my platform as first lady!
So, the word goes out: Democrats only.

That is code for PAR-TAY

They arrive in dark suits, American flag pins securely anchored to their pin-striped lapels. They shake hands and pose for pictures, kicking Sasha out of the way with their wing-tips as she attempts, yet again, to jump into the photo. They answer a few questions and shuffle into the oval office.

Once inside, the fun begins. High fives are exchanged as they draw the drapes and change into cotton lounge pants and tee shirts. Bowls are filled with Laffy Taffy and Joe Biden slips a copy of "Super Troopers" into the blu-ray player.

He has trouble with the remote and is relieved of his duties. Later, after too much Laffy Taffy, he must be coaxed out of the bathroom where he has gone to sulk.

Red cups and ping pong balls are lined up on the president's desk which has been covered by a bed sheet taken from the Lincoln bedroom. The darts are laid out as a poster of Sarah Palin, in a red, white and blue bikini, is taped to the wall. The festivities begin with a game of Mad Libs using Glen Beck's name to fill in all the blanks.

Whoever wins beer pong later gets to drunk dial John Boehner. It's definitely going to be a fun night.

Do not be fooled, America-- this is what's going on in Washington, today. Your tax dollar paid for the jalapeno poppers.

Though you can't possibly have as much fun as President Obama will today, have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Thanks for reading and signing up this week. Stay dry and warm and see you on Monday morning!


  1. Beer pong?!?!? LOL!!! Hey, that gives me a great idea for date night! ;-)

  2. There you go!! Worth the calories and carbs?

  3. Almost makes me wish I was a democrat!!...Almost. ;)

  4. Wow, Cat---that's pretty extreme if you ask me!