Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Dunk, Dunk, Dunk.....

The familiar blue box.
Life is a challenge, no doubt about it. But, often, it's the steady stream of petty frustrations that takes us down, chipping away at our composure until we snap and end up in the fetal position in a corner of the house, cats circling anxiously....or, maybe that's just me.

Fortunately, I have a solution--a universal perscription for this type of low-level but debilitating annoyance.

It falls into the "don't feel your feelings, eat them away" school of thought but doesn't advocate any sort of destructive or suicidal binge involving addictive substances. It does involve a tried and true medicinal solution,one of great historical significance for many. One that evokes those warm and fuzzy feelings that can blur our irritations, enabling us to unfurl from the fetal and reclaim our day.....Healing, they name is "graham cracker."

Yep, that golden perforated cracker for which we pitched in a weekly nickel in Mrs. Price's kindergarten class for our morning snack. The cracker whose appearance, in a blue tin, meant that we could take a break from the stresses of who was going to be the mommy, or forced to be the daddy, in the dress-up corner. We could throw down our blocks or crayons and chill out with a sip of milk and the familiar sweetness and, very importantly, the dunking features of the beloved cracker of our youth.

One little waxy package of graham crackers,administered not more than twice but not less than once a day, can do the trick. One little package. Dunk, dunk, dunk.

When you can't find a single one of any of your portable phones, or any of the dozen reading glasses you've strewn about the house--dunk, dunk, dunk.

When your smoke detector goes off, again, in the kitchen and you have to pry it off the wall with the broom handle--dunk, dunk, dunk. When you can't avert your eyes quickly enough from that tiresome chatterbox you bump into in the small electric appliance aisle of Target (not you, I love running into you) and are forced to converse, missing Cash Cab as a result--dunk, dunk, dunk.

When you forget to DVR Southland--dunk, dunk, dunk. When your 91 year old aunt fights you tooth and nail about getting some help at home but prefers to call you forty times a day, dunk, dunk, dunk....

Configuration for moderate stress...
Cookie dunking has long been therapeutic. Many people prefer the Oreo but Oreos have a much higher fat and calorie content than the graham, rendering them unacceptable as regular therapy.

Some people (amateurs) dunk Social T's or 'Nilla Wafers....again, not effective. It's the combination of packaging, shape and perforations---which allow you to adjust the dunking configurations to your personal needs--as well as the taste and texture, of course.
When moderately stressed, I break mine into quarters, dunking each individually. If higher stress occurs, I will dunk the whole cracker but it's crucial that the width of the cup be adequate for the width of the cracker before you sit down or stress is increased.

Try it. Just handling the familiar blue box will unleash some of the soothing qualities of the graham....an unassuming cookie that, while often crumbled for crusts or overwhelmed in S'mores, is most effective when you dunk, dunk, dunk....
Avoid this by dunking.


  1. This is a fantastically written post.

  2. Alicia, thanks for that great compliment. After reading it, i read the post againand while I am not sure I agree, i very much appreciate your generous words....off to dunk, dunk, dunk (good stress).

  3. Love it and LOVE the graham cracker!

  4. I eat my feelings all the time! Usually in the form of something fried and "dunk, dunk, dunked" in ranch. :)

    Why is Buzzy always in a box? Is that the preferred sleeping quarters?

  5. Thanks, Maria...they wouldn't fit into 50 calories, I fear...

  6. Cat!! Buzzy isn't always in a box but it is his special little sleeping spot...often he's on my lap, too. When he's not up and abiut doing his thing...But i's the best place to put something on top of him and snap a picture!

  7. i must remember this. actually i would like to forget it completely. lmao
    your dunk dunk dunk is my fail fail fail!!!
    you still rock my socks though :)

  8. Susan, have you been dunk/dunk/dunking in wine today? ;o)
    And...hmmm... have I been to Target lately? No, but I saw you in the grocery store, and I am sure I didn't make you miss Cash Cab, just maybe one of the commercials. ;o)

  9. Mary, dunking in wine is a great idea...and as I said in the post,"I love running into you." We all have a chatterbox we dread, no? Mine willforever remain a mystery.....