1. Is it wrong that I love the movie "Speed"? That I watch it every time it's on? That I wish I had Sandra Bullock's smooth hair and could get away with wearing shoes with little white socks like she does in the movie? Is it wrong to wish that Keanu Reeves, in a blindingly white tee shirt would tell me, in that weird deep voice of his, exactly what to do next until we end up facing death together in a subway car in downtown Los Angeles? I am not dissing Seth here. My interest in Keanu is mostly platonic while Seth would sell me to a medical lab for experimentation purposes if Beyonce asked him to.
2. Is it wrong that instead of shpritzing my kitchen counters with Fantastik and wiping them down with the scrubbie side of my yellow and green sponge for the forty billionth time that I would just as soon sledge hammer them into formica splinters and run out and roll in the snow until the men in white coats arrive?
3. Is it wrong that I secretly don't think that having five cats is enough and that I want to secretly slip away to the local shelter and secretly choose another kitten to secretly take care of? Secretly.
1. No 2. Yes. 3. Yes.